When someones actions create a response of emotional hurt, the pain we feel is the inability to process the difference between what we assume is acceptable and what occurred. There is a painful mismatch between our expectations and the reality of what happened.
Rejection comes when others do not see us a way we want, through disapproval or non acceptance. We feel we are being shunned or discarded and it often creates feelings of not being good enough, of not being valued or wanted.”
Inherently we all want to be liked, to fit in and be part of something larger than ourselves. Being accepted brings a sense of validation that our way of being is on the right track. Those who have a broader perspective of themselves and their relationship to world they interact with, usually feel the impact of disparity and criticism less intensely..
Psychologists have long realized those with sensitivities to hurt and rejection can easily be overwhelmed by these emotions. Luckily these sensitivities can be reset and prioritized in ways more supportive to the persons overall well being, if the person is open to seeing things differently. For those where life has become too overwhelming, extra care must be taken in helping them sort through these areas When any set of events pushes a person too far past their threshold of sensitivity, even the small things become too much.
Raising self esteem and self worth can be a productive course of action to pursue in helping a person relate to differences more effectively.
The ideas we hold tightest become our greatest concerns when they turn out unexpectedly. It is difficult for those who get stuck on ideas of how things are supposed to be, of how others should treat us, of what is fair. Many have constructed unconscious blueprints not allowing the acceptance of certain types of events. When we can’t do something about the things we don’t know how to accept or if we just can’t process, it can be painful. It is difficult to digest the unimaginable or find self supportive solutions if we can’t get beyond certain ideas or feelings .
Everyone’s level of sensitivity and interpretation skills are different. How we deal with rejection and hurt is not genetically inherent, it is learned. Unfortunately many have never learned to effectively process beyond the interpretations of their sensitivities. It is difficult for those who do not know how to release, influence and work through areas of sensitivity. What we place importance on, how quickly we can release ideas and process emotions is what determines how easy it is to accept change.
When one can’t find resolution of way to support emotional sensitivities and perceptions , it may be time to seek help. Hurt and rejection left unchecked or repressed can lead to erratic bouts of anger. Over the long run it may lead to feeling disconnected or confused, isolated or depressed.
Making change need not be difficult if you understand how the mind and nervous system work. At Designed Thinking we specialize in helping clients make changes in unwanted patterns. Change how you think; you change how you act, you change how you feel
There is hope for those desiring to release old emotions, be it anger, guilt, grief or sadness. We help many clients right in the comfort of their home. Call our toll free number 866-718-9995 to find out how. It’s never too late when your are ready to change.