Guilt and Shame – Misunderstood Emotions

Guilt - the feeling of having done wrong to others or the environment. The person feels they have violated their own standards.

Shame - an intense concerned of how other people may have interpreted a given action. The person believes they have violated the standards or perspective of another.

Guilt and Shame are Evaluations

Evaluations of what we believe to be right or wrong. But the amount of guilt or shame a person feels does not define their morals. Guilt and shame are not needed for people to do the right things . In the long run, guilt and shame actually limits the ability to make proper and useful choices. Unfortunately there are many who cannot envision life without guilt or shame. They cannot imagine holding morality without negative feelings. This is a learned process and it is a shame, since there are plenty of quality people who uphold high standards without having learned to feel the emotions of guilt or shame.

Guilt and shame can have their roots in religious institutions, parents, teachers, peers or anyone else once held in high esteem. Most certainly we are not born with the rules of necessity or what has to be. None of us are born with having to feel bad when mistakes, disagreements or misinterpretations have occurred. These are learned or installed patterns. The intention behind them are often well meaning, however they stand in the way of achieving inner peace and happiness.

The neurological effects of guilt and shame impedes the healing process; physically, spiritually, emotionally and mentally. Those constantly feeling the effects of guilt or shame will be more self-critical and suffer from lowered self-esteem. They will be more likely to blame, judge and complain. Guilt and shame is seldom productive, nor does it help anyone to become a better person. But these processes do help elevate the possibilities of anxiety and obsessive compulsive disorders.

No one is born with guilt or shame, they are learned responses. What is learned can be unlearned and changed. People do it all the time, if one is willing to change, redesign their outlook on life and let go of old habits. No one has to be burdened with negative emotions; they are not mandatory part of life.

Discover how to let go of discomfort. It can be done in the comfort of your own home. Designed Thinking offers a free 15 minute consultation on our toll free number 866-718-9995