Emotional Abuse

Abuse can come in many forms; verbal, physical, mental, sexual, and of course emotional, which underlines all other types of abuse. The abuser is usually a parent, relative, significant other, coworker or someone in a network of friends.

The abuser wants to rob others of their freedoms and emotional stability. They have the need to be in control or to let others know they are important and because they do not possess the resources to positively impact their surroundings, they must lower the existence of those they are threatened by, don't understand, or respect. The abuser is weak and has personal limitation they have not learned to over come. The more abusive they get, the weaker their own emotional state is. These limitations are usually outside the awareness of the abuser. This is important to know, because the victims are the ones who are made to feel inadequate and it seldom has anything to do with them. Unfortunately, they are the ones who carry the scars of the abuse long after it has ended.

Ways people abuse you

Lies and tell half-truths to avoid having to justify actions or ideas

Accuse and blame others to divert attention away from what has occurred

The abusers refusal to take another's point of view or the irrationally defense of their own point of view

With holding information so the abused will look bad later on (you should have known that). Not sharing information with someone when they are entitled to it

Not acknowledging another's feeling, which makes that person feel as if something is wrong with them

Slighting or taking digs in a non-aggressive or joking manner. Allows the abuser to say he was just kidding while still getting in a degrading statement

Changing the subject to divert attention from their actions or decisions

Making someone feel worthless in an attempt to lower ones self-esteem

Threatening or hinting of physical, mental or sexual abuse

The abuser denying they've done anything wrong (a lie in every sense of the word)

Any inappropriate emotional out bursts (a form of distracting attention, confusing the abused or shifting blame)

Trying to control another by domineering and limiting their freedom or expression

Forgetting commitments and promises.

Denying the person the chance to succeed by placing unreasonable demands, unjustly singling them out or constantly placing someone in the category of a loser.

Taking advantage of ones weakness or using shame, guilt or fear against another

Manipulating another person against their will

Inappropriate submissive actions

Cutting some one off, so they are not allowed to speak. Suppressing self-expression.

Eliminating self choice

Asking inappropriate questions or making inappropriate comments to evoke an emotional response

Humiliating someone in front of others or pushing their buttons

Slandering some ones name, reputation, associations or activities

WHAT IS THE LONG TERM AFFECTS? The lingering effects of emotional abuse can stay with a person for their entire life. It can cause detachment, isolation, feeling disconnected or cold to the world. It lowers self worth and esteem. Memories of the past may be difficult to access. Emotional abuse leads to mental challenges such as anxiety, panic attacks, depression and OCD. Life is to short and many will carry the scars from their childhood right to the day they die.

HOW CAN I HEAL? Abuse breeds negative emotions, which deplete the bodies energy, clouds the clarity of thought, and keeps us from being at our best. Holding on to the emotions may let the abuser know of your disapproval, it may be a matter of principle, it may serve to motivate you to not to be abused again, but in the end you are the one who carries the burden of the event. The real suffering occurs when we don't let it go.

Releasing emotional abuse is not a logical process, other wise you would have logically come to terms with this long ago. It takes a different approach, one that taps into the structure of your emotions, deep with in your subconscious mind.

At Designed Thinking we know that with the proper approach, everyone has the ability to release the pain of old memories. If past events still trigger anger, frustration, fear, hurt, rejection, shame, guilt, or resentment, ask yourself how long do you want to hold to this suffering? What purpose do these emotions serve for you today? If you can't come up with satisfactory answers, it is time to let it go. If you can, do you really want to continue holding on to these feelings?

WHERE DO I GO? We've assisted our clients' in overcoming challenges of past abuse, OCD, anxiety, panic and other unresourceful fears , so that today they are open to healthier ways of thinking and living. Email or call us at 818-575-9571 and find out how you can have a positive release and a new choice on life.

For more information on specific negative emotional states, click on the links below or give us a.

Fear

Anger & Frustration

Hurt and Rejection

Shame and Guilt

Anxiety